Monday, September 1, 2008

The Gambler

I've been trying to avoid putting in my 2 cents on the Sarah Palin VP choice by McBush, just reading and trying to digest who she is, after all the VP choice really doesn't mean much. Thing is, you look at liberal news, and you get the typical tripe, even going as far as the DailyKos story of her last pregnancy being a ruse to cover for her teenage daughter's pregnancy. Reading the other press, it's a constant stream of McCain's big gamble and I keep hearing that Kenny Rogers' over and over in my head, you gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold'em..., singing the praises of the return of the Maverick McCain.

Being Vice-President actually makes you President of the United States Senate, and next in line in case the president kicks it and remember that McBush turned 72 the other day. Bearing in mind the random crap shoot that is the presidential election, here's my top 10 reasons to be physically sick about the Sarah Palin choice and how she'll help defeat Obama.

  1. She's a hockey mom. This means something in possible swing states like Minnesota, Colorado, Ohio and Pennsylvania
  2. She's pro-life. That whole "carried her child to term despite the knowledge that it would probably have Down Syndrome" thing really stirs up the fanatic Christian vote.
  3. She will win over disaffected Clinton supporters. Those that wouldn't vote for anyone just because their candidate lost, now will be tempted to vote Republican, what's the difference, at least she's a woman!?
  4. She was a TV sportscaster and a former beauty queen. How much more apple pie can you get?
  5. Some people consider her a MILF, making her ideal to deal with terrorist organziations such as MILF (Moro Islamic Liberation Front)
  6. Cindy McCain likes her because she has foreign diplomatic experience, honest. She's the governor of Alaska, the closest state to Russia, so she'll know how to deal with that threat!

  7. She's a gun loving huntress. This is important because people feel more comfortable knowing that there's continuity, in this case a VP who's liable to shoot someone in the face.
  8. She doesn't believe that global warming is caused by human activities unlike her running-mate, this calms some conservative fears about putting an environmentalist like McBush in the White House.
  9. She just got a passport last year. Fewer than 1 in 6 Americans have one, she only got hers to visit the troops in Germany, so never fear, she's still as isolated as the rest of the electorate.
  10. Oil, oil, oil. She'll drill and fight big oil at the same time! McBush actually opposes opening Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil and gas development, which sounds a little whacko-enviro to some conservatives. Enter Palin who supports drilling anywhere, oh yeah, and she hates polar bears.