Sex, Lies and The Holy Grail

A lunatic is easily recognized...You can tell him by the liberties he takes with common sense, by his flashes of inspiration, and by the fact that sooner or later he brings up the Templars.
-Umberto Eco Foucault's Pendulum

It was only a matter of time until my cover was blown and I was exposed as the lunatic I am, but if it wasn't for the headline in the Spanish newspaper El Pais, I'm sure I could have kept it secret a bit longer. "Los Templarios Demanden al Papa" (Templars Sue Pope), must click..., reveal the truth, unlock the mystery! Maybe we'll learn the truth about Mary Magdalene or even the location of the Holy Grail. Afraid not...

It seems that a group claiming to be Spanish Templars (La Asociación Orden Soberana del Temple de Cristo - something along the lines of The Association of the Sovereign Order of the Temple of Christ) are simply suing the pope to restore their ancient order. The reason they are suing poor ol' Benedict XVI (B16) is that he is the heir of Pope Benedict V who put the ban on the Templars order way back in 1307. Yawn, but for those of you who haven't read everything to do with the Templars since they first got their hands on the DiVinci Code, the Orders story is truly fascinating, from their birth to gory demise.

Around 1115 a small group of knights banded together for the purpose of escorting pilgrims to the newly won holy lands. In 1118 the group swore an oath to protect the pilgrims and observe the monastic vows of poverty, obedience and chastity and it was their devotion to these ideals that led to their rapid growth and their estabilishment as a military-religious order in 1124 by the Council of the Catholic Church. Generous donations began to flow in and their power and range grew along with the increased wealth. Preceptories (look it up, a word specifically meaning a subordinate house or community of the Knights Templar - basically branches, think banks) were opened in Jerusalem, Antioch, Tripoli, Aragon, Portugal, Hungary, Germany, Sicily and Greece. By 1129 they also were well represented in England, France and Scotland. This created the perfect base for what essentially became the world's first international banking network. So, having been founded on the basis of poverty, they were now into usery, money lending, deposit and withdrawals, just like any bank.

Until the fall of Acre to the muslims in 1291 the order had a purpose, but with the holy lands lost, the purpose of existence seemed to be lost with it. Charges of blasphemy, idolatry and sodomy were brought to Phillip IV (The Fair) in France who, hungry for a share of the Templar wealth informed the pope in 1305. Eventually on September 15th of 1307 Phillip sent sealed instructions for the seizure of all members of the Order and their property throughout France. Once confessions were extracted under torture, the pope issued a command to all Christian princes to arrest Templars on their lands, their wealth confiscated and passed on to the Hospitallers.

That's the short story, but the Templars have given us much more than just modern banking and DaVinci Code spin-offs. The day the order was rounded up and executed, Friday the 13th, 1308, could be the origins of, at the very least has added to, the bad luck image of that day. The final Grand Master Jacques DeMolay lent his name to DeMolay International (or the Order of DeMolay), an organization started in Kansas City in 1919 as an international fraternity for young men. Currently with 17,000 members worldwide, some of it's past and present members include Bill Clinton, Walt Disney, seven US governors, a few men who have been to space and even Mel Blanc.

The Templars first headquarters and home for 75 years was the Temple Mount, believed to be the former location of Solomon's Temple and home to the Ark of the Covenant. Did they find it? No one knows for sure, but it's a good story. How about the Holy Grail? Well, the story seems more realistic in terms of the discovery of and passing down of the knowledge of the bloodline of Christ. Most interesting of all are the stories surrounding their demise and resurrection in far-flung lands. Stories abound that the Templars were tipped off before their arrest and that their treasures were loaded on ships bound for a variety of destinations, from Portugal to Scotland and as far away as the New World. The Scottish case rests with the Battle of Bannockburn, where it is alleged that the Scots, led by Robert the Bruce, were able to defeat the English due to Templar aid. In Portugal the Templars didn't disband, they simply changed their name to the Knights of Christ and we're among the navigators on Columbus' voyage to the Americas. Vasco de Gama was a Knight of Christ. Perhaps they fled east and founded Switzerland. Most far-fetched of all, some believe that the Templars actually beat Columbus to the Americas by a century.

Finally, the legends surrounding the death of that final Grand Master, Jacques DeMolay. Before being burned on an island on the Seine, many have claimed that DeMolay's last words summoned the king of France and the pope to meet him in a tribunal before God before the end of the year. Pope Clement died a month later and King Philip died later that year in a hunting accident. Furthermore, legend tells of three Templars searching the site of his burning and finding only his skull and femurs. Taking these with them, they were allegedly the inspiration for the first Jolly Roger flag of piracy, a symbol also used by the Yale Skull and Bones society as well as the Bohemian Grove.

And what of the Templar treasure? Many say it is hidden within Rosslyn Chapel, near Edinburgh, Scotland with the Grail or even the mummified head of Christ hidden within the Apprentice Pillar. Or, it could lie buried deep underground on a small island off Nova Scotia. Oak Island has been labelled the Money Pit, as many believe that treasure valued over a billion dollars could lie hidden deep underground, protected by an intricate system of booby traps straight out of The Goonies.

That's not even the half of it my friends, it's not hard to see why the Templars are featured in so many books. It seems that the general feeling about the order switched from the 18th century when most writers portrayed them as devil worshippers, praying to idols such as Baphomet, whereas modern writers take a more sympathetic view and convert things such as Baphomet to the Shroud of Turin or even the head of Christ (more legends attached to the Templars). Enough's enough however, go find out more on your own!

And the non-loser is...

Sitting over a couple of beers a few months ago, conversation turned to the US presidential election. Being in a bar in Poland, I was the only North American represented in the discussion and the only one to predict a John McBush victory. My European friends all shared the same viewpoint; the US was ready for change, in need of change and the populace would make the sane decision and vote for Barrack Obama come November. What they didn't, and most people don´t realize is that the winner won't be the man who wins, but the one who doesn't lose.

Flashback to 2004, the electorate is forced to choose between two men; John Kerry, Massachusetts senator, and George W. Bush, the incumbent. The signs are obvious, change is necessary. The war in Iraq is at a low point, John Kerry is a Vietnam war hero, Bush a draft dodger; Kerry is an intellectual, Bush is a ...well, insert your own adjective here. Enter Karl Rove, political master of the black arts. It's the terror, stupid instead of the economy, or the war as he helped Dubya ride a patriotic wave to re-election in 2004. The focus of the campaign was Kerry's flip-flop on a war funding bill and "moral values", two ripe targets for the Christian heartland. Enter the attack on Kerry's service in Vietnam (the infamous swift boat issue) and the gay marriage amendment appearing on the ballot in 11 states.

Fast forward to 2008 and the latest news is the attack style adds of the McBush camp. Why the sudden change from the straight talk express? This year evil once again has a name and it's Steve Schmidt, Rove's protege, who cut his teeth running the 2004 Republican war room and guiding the re-election campaign of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Schmidt was brought in last month to jumpstart the ailing McBush effort. Therefore the latest spat over negative ads really comes as no surprise, victory can only be had by bringing down the man known as "THE ONE" in the McBush camp. Obama will be attacked mercilessly from here on in.


McBush goaded Obama into visiting Iraq, so when Obama went one better and his World Tour '08 made him look like a rock star, enter the Spears/Hilton comparisons. I guess it was hoped by the Republicans he'd make a big mistake, he didn't, so now we hear some manufactured story about not visiting wounded soldiers. Obama's popular in Europe, so I'm sure American TV (read Fox News) will be filled with anti-Europe tirades. Don't forget that Obama's half-black, the race card will be played. That middle name thing will be interesting too, Hussein isn't all that popular in the heartland.

Come October, if nothing else is dug up by then, there will be the replay of the Reverend Wright story, over, and over and over again until TV viewers across the land are convinced that he and Obama are one and the same. If all else fails my friends, power being so addictive that the Republicans won't let it go, there will be a "terrorist" attack. I know, I know, now I've definitely crossed the line into conspiracy theories, but it's one bet I'm willing to make, anything to ensure this:


Remember that the US is not a true democracy. It uses the electoral college and just influencing a few voters to vote one way (or not to vote at all) in a few key states is all that is needed for victory. More on that in a later post...

It's the end of the world as we know it... Part II

Time for a quick update on the impending end of the world. I wrote about the Large Hadron Collider built by CERN a few months back, click here for the post. At the time there wasn't any exact dates given for it's start up, but it seems we finally have a date for ignition, September 10th. The first protons will pumped through the maze of tubing August 9th. Full blast off, and perhaps the end of the world as we know it won't come for a few more months, so relax. Of course those wacky physicists have released a video trying to explain what they're trying to accomplish. The sounds a bit dodgy, but it is educational, so you like it I say!

$50 billion

It wasn't so long ago that $50 billion was considered a lot of money. Well, the world has changed and along with it, so has the value of money. General Motors' net losses since 2005, $51.1 billion; the six largest oil companies combined profits this QUARTER, $51.5 billion; Anheuser-Busch cost InBev $52 billion; the US contribution to fighting AIDS, malaria and tuberculosis over the next 5 years, $50 billion; the portion of the latest war funding bill for Iraq and Afghanistan devoted to new weapon systems, $51.8 billion; the amount Microsoft saved by not buying Yahoo, about $50 billion; Obama's emergency economic stimulus package, $50 billion.

These are just a few of the numbers tossed around in the last month or two. The problem is the loss of perspective, just what is 50 billion? It was the GDP of the United States in 1916 in 1916 dollars. It is the estimated (by some) to be the number of galaxies in the universe (although most say 100 billion). Before the currency devaluation the other day (they lopped 10 zeroes off the Zim dollar in an effort to "fight" inflation), it was the cost of the Sunday Independent newspaper in Zimbabwe dollars. It's a 5 with 10 zeroes following it. That's ten to the power of nine (10^9). To make matters more confusing many languages interpret the word billion differently. In a nutshell, there are what are known as short-scales and long-scales. In countries using the short scale, such as the US and Canada, they use a numeric system where every new term greater than a million is 1000 times the previous term, thus a billion is a thousand millions, a trillion a thousand billions...While in long scale countries such as Spain, every term is a million times larger, thus a billion means a million millions (10^12). A Spaniard would say "mil millones" (a thousand millions) to mean my version of a billion!

In order to truly understand such large numbers, one must take a step back and put them in perspective. Exxon Mobil made over $11 billion this quarter, that's a couple bucks for every man, woman and child on the planet. Mexico's Carlos Slim's $60 billion fortune is large enough to place him in the top ten of national GDP's in Africa (yes, I know, GDP is the measurement for one year while his wealth was amassed over his lifetime), just behind Tunisia and ahead of Kenya. The White House predicts that the budget deficit left to the successor of Dubya for 2009 will be $482 billion, ten times 50 billion! (the figure isn't final as it may not include all costs of the wars or an additional economic stimulus package of, you guessed it, $50 billion) That's over $1600 for every person in the USA. Imagine spending that much more than you made in a year, would your bank keep lending you money? (Just a few hundred billion more until $10 trillion total outstanding public debt) You gotta love those fiscally conservative Republicans.

In Arthur C. Clarke's short story The Nine Billion Names of God, once the task of listing all the names of God is completed, the universe is brought to an end. By pumping up the numbers thrown about to ever greater amounts, our governments, corporations and not least of all, the media, are making the task of counting to the end more and more difficult to complete, thus keeping us occupied. A little over six years ago, the Pentagon estimated the war in Iraq would cost $50 billion in total, a number thrown to the public with little meaning behind it, just a number to hold in our heads. Of course the costs have spiralled out of control, but the numbers seem endless, without any real meaning; is the cost $3 trillion, $1.2 trillion or just $600 billion. Sadly for the public, unlike pi, all these amounts are finite and someone will have to pay the bill.

Connected? Sure, but quick, where's Tonga?

Being off-line for more than a month one would figure there'd be tons to write about, injustices to rail against, lies to expose and untold stories to tell. Alas, I'm afraid I was pretty spot on in my last post-dated post, nothing much seems to have changed; Mugabe was sworn in as president of Zimbabwe and any UN sanctions were vetoed by Russia and China, prices are still rising all over, people are still being killed needlessly in Iraq and Afghanistan and Iran is still going ahead with their nuclear ambitions. As usual, the US election is just too easy a target to mock, the two-party system too flawed and its people too easily manipulated. So, still being in vacation mode (yes, I'll be doing nothing for more than a month) I think I'll transport the post to Tonga.

If you answered the question asked in the title, you're ahead of the pack. Tonga is a small island chain in the south Pacific somewhere between New Zealand and Hawaii. It's in the news today because they're crowning a new king in a 4 day coronation ceremony, King George Tupou V. The whole idea of a hereditary leader might seem a little strange to most of the world, in fact Tonga is the last remaining monarchy in Oceania, but there are still countries who follow this ancient custom. There are constitutional monarchies, many of which are in Europe like those in Spain, and a few absolute monarchies, such as Saudi Arabia. There's been lots of news surrounding the legitamacy of monarchs of late; the Catalans in Spain upset over Juan Carlos' rule over their land, the abolishment of the monarchy in Nepal, and the constant arguments in Canada and Australia over keeping the British monarch as the figurative head of state. So, what's the point of a king or queen in the 21st century?

The Tongan Prime Minister's justification for spending over 2 million pounds on the ceremony is that it is crucial to getting the country's tourism sector up and running properly.(?!) "The other countries in the Pacific that have lost their royal families - they regret it now". Protection from evil-minded prime ministers is another oft-mentioned reason, having someone in power who is above politics. Or maybe just the whole idea of having a king or queen is what matters? The idea of checks and balances is well established today, given the United Statesan system, and that is just what a good monarch is supposed to do, check the power of maniacs and balance the decisions made by parliaments. All this seems crucial to an island nation as powerful as Tonga, so go on roast a few more pigs!

The more things change...

Maybe if he just changed the batteries in the remote...

As you may or may not know, I've been on vacation for the past month, unable to keep up with the news and keep my blog up to date. A couple of post-dated posts are all I've been able to put up. So, given my lack of news (yes, no internet access) I thought it might be fun to see what the news headlines from my final "connected" day were and ask you to see what's come of these stories. It's been my experience from past years of occasional media withdrawal that with the exception of the odd major events, the same stories get recycled, re-spun and repackaged for our intake. Some of the headlines from Reuter's on June 24th, 2008 were:
1. Pressure mounts to call off Zimbabwe election
2. Home prices extend record slide in April
3. Bomb kills 6 Iraqis, 4 Americans in Baghdad
4. Dow Chemical sets new price hikes, cuts output
5. Iran says EU sanctions could hurt nuclear diplomacy
6. Voters and candidates react to higher energy costs
7. First contractor convicted under US military law in Iraq
8. Economy on brink of recession, Greenspan says
9. Border farmers seek change on guest workers
10. Group denies misleading media over Amazon tribe

Now, my theory is the things don't change too much, the news seems to run in a loop. Here's a list of corresponding stories I've written in the past three months (with numbers matching above):
1. Starving Billionaires; Zimbabwe, somewhere in Africa; Zimbabwe update #3
2. On Dollars and Dinars
3. Where to start?
4. Look out! It's a dinosaur from the 70's!?
5. When Talking Became a Bad Thing
6. When first we practice to deceive - lies part 2
7. Extra! Extra! America Violates International Law! (post-dated at time of writing, you can find it yourself)
8. What a Tangled Web We Weave - Lies Part 1
9. Fear of the Other
10. Attack From Above

Ok, ok, the stories don't all match up exactly, I've only been at this blogging thing a few months. What is interesting to examine though is how much news changes over time. Looking at my original posts and the headlines today (June 24th), there isn't much difference. So, dear reader, if I was to log on today, would I find that the story has changed in the past month? Somehow I doubt it, but let me know in the comments below. See you at the beginning of August!

Extra! Extra! America Violates International Law!

Might is right. Thus it comes as no surprise to hear that they are killing people without due process in America. Imagine your surprise, when you realize...wow~! some difference, Reece's Peanut Butter Pieces inside. oops, sorry, a bit of a flashback from cartoon days... Anyways, the latest kerfuffle comes via Mexico. Can you imagine that, the Mexicans complaining about American mistreatment? What? 160 years after the US stole much of the south from them? Thank God (large G or small g, as you wish) the Canadians finished the railroad in time before Manifest Destiny kicked in.

The USA still has the death penalty. Much like the Saudis or Bangladesh, or wait a second, how could you tell me this isn't a test of how far a society has developed. The death penalty is like something out of the Koran or the Bible, look, capital letters and all for you believers. Here's a list of the countries that still perform capital punishment:
Afghanistan, Antigua and Barbuda, Bahamas, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Barbados, Belarus, Belize, Botswana, Burundi, Cameroon, Chad, China (People's Republic), Comoros, Congo (Democratic Republic), Cuba, Dominica, Egypt, Equatorial Guinea, Eritrea, Ethiopia, Gabon, Ghana, Guatemala, Guinea, Guyana, India, Indonesia, Iran, Iraq, Jamaica, Japan, Jordan, Korea-North, Korea-South, Kuwait, Laos, Lebanon, Lesotho, Libya, Malawi, Malaysia, Mongolia, Nigeria, Oman, Pakistan, Palestinian Authority, Qatar, St. Kitts and Nevis, St. Lucia, St. Vincent and the Grenadines, Saudi Arabia, Sierra Leone, Singapore, Somalia, Sudan, Swaziland, Syria, Taiwan, Tajikistan, Tanzania, Thailand, Trinidad and Tobago, Uganda, United Arab Emirates, United States, Vietnam, Yemen, Zambia, Zimbabwe

Ummm, that's kind of long. But look closer at the list, Japan is the only other country there besides the US that is considered a "developed" nation. Back to Mexico, who of course passed the death penalty phase of societal development in... wait a second, don't tell me that Mexico has never had the death penalty...Reader's please let me know if this is false. Anyway, Mexico has made an emergency appeal to the World Court to block the execution of its citizens in the US as they are in defiance or a previous World Court ruling (see below). The complaint is based on the fact that the Americans haven't been letting the accused know that they have the RIGHT to consular assistance. ummm, yeah, believe it or not, if people are accused of a crime in a nation other than their own, they can speak to people from their country before being put to death. Whether or not you believe that capital punishment is right on moral grounds, the biggest problem with it is the chance of mistaken convictions, so due process, no matter how insignificant, is of huge importance. In America alone, there have been 111 people released from death row because DNA evidence exonerated them after they were convicted.

Let's look at the organization of the World Court seeing as it's the first time I've written about it here. The International Court of Justice seems to be a force even too powerful for Google, as it's the Permanent Court of International Justice, the International Court of Justice (the real one now), or the International Criminal Court(genocide only) if you search under World Court (try it, this stuff is confusing). Basically the International Court is the judicial arm of the United Nations, responsible for resolving disputes between nations and at times giving other forms of legal advice. Upon its creation, the court's verdicts were binding on nations, but that is so passe, ever since 1986 when the US withdrew from compulsory jurisdiction. If you're wondering why well, it's, surprise, because the court ruled against America in favour of the Nicaraguan government when it lodged a complaint about the US mining its harbour in support of the Sandanistas.

The Mexicans' cases are quite serious, maybe one of them raped and killed a couple women (funny that's the only case they give any news about in the Reuter's report). The world's judicial forum, the court in the Hague must decide before the execution date of August 5 if a Mexican scheduled to die had his day in court. Oh yeah, there's 51 other Mexicans on death row paying attention to the ruling that could come in time to save their lives. The weirdest angle to the story is that Dubya, as in George W., gave the poor bastards waiting to be offed a bit of help; he ordered the states' attorneys, as in Texas', California's and Oklahoma's, to do a bit of work, to back check after a 2004 World Court ruling the US had violated international law. Somewhat ironically, his home state of Texas refused and then the US Supreme court ruled 6-3 that George didn't have the authority to force state courts to comply with World Court rulings. Dubya had overstepped his authority by saying the US and its states must adhere to its international treaty obligations.

George knows damn well that the US no longer needs to comply with the wishes of most of the world. In fact, shortly after the first World Court ruling regarding the necessity of reviews due to the lack of consular assistance, he quietly had Condeleeza Rice inform the UN that the US was withdrawing from the Optional Protocol to the Vienna Convention on Consular Rights, originally an American proposal from 1963. You can't find many things on the net from before '96, but a lot of it is from the Best of America Soundtrack of not give a fuck what the rest of the world says. Not a big surprise to see countries such as the Sudan now defy orders from the same organization, good example hmmm Darfur anyone? (Crazy Bush is good reporting here). The argument of the Texans is that states need not comply with international law, sounds a bit like the old Guantanamo gambit. At this moment in Guatanamo there are, umm, there were 619 prisoners in 2004, who really knows how many are left and where they're from anymore? (it's really difficult googling for Guantanamo these days, more than 5 years after the camp was set up, so many results, around 270 prisoners remain I believe)

Another strange development has to do with Guantanamo. The same Supreme Court ruled last week the Americans government had to abide by Habeas Corpus, yes, I do mean the accused in Guantanamo will have the right to full judicial review of their detention. Day in court and all that, maybe, 5 years later after being locked up. Of course this is a war on terror stuff that followed hot the heels of the illegal invasion of Iraq. Why else would the US refuse to ratify the treaty that established the International criminal court except for the fact that they know most of the men behind this war would be convicted there.

Back in the 1930's a pair of fascist states walked out of the League of Nations. Germany and Italy were not willing to allow international law to impose itself on their foreign policy objectives. Mussolini and Hitler both had to shake free of any kind of treaties, pact or alliances that would restrict their ambitions. It's not hard to see a parallel with the United States of George W. Bush. The term "unsigning" was practically invented to describe the Americans moves to withdraw from their obligations to the International Criminal Court, the CTBT, a verification protocol for the Biological Weapons Convention, the Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty with Russia the Vienna Convention on Consular Rights and even Boundary treaties with Canada (Almost funny, check it out). Remember how they tried to fool the UN into giving permission for the Iraq War? Well, next time they probably won't even bother to ask.